Perfectionism is a personality trait that causes an individual to set unrealistic expectations for themselves. As a result, they are often preoccupied with thoughts of imperfection, control, and criticism.
Oftentimes, the use of the word ‘perfectionist’ misrepresents characteristics of the trait. It is commonly mistaken as a synonym of being driven and hard-working; however, in reality, perfectionism can cause a paralyzing fear of failure, which leads to a broad spectrum of consequences that includes low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression.
The Cycle of Perfectionism
Perfectionism produces a cycle that can have negative impacts on productivity, mental health, and relationships. To break the cycle, the perfectionist must identify where they exhibit perfectionist traits, and then subsequently intervene by modifying their behaviours.
Perfectionism
The beginning of the cycle is where the perfectionist sets unattainable goals. While other high achievers will set ambitious goals, a perfectionist can be identified by having unrealistic expectations for themselves. They are also often motivated by the fear of not reaching their goals as opposed to the satisfaction of achieving them.
Procrastination
Since perfectionists are characterized by holding themselves to impossibly high standards, this also comes with an ‘all or nothing attitude’, and sometimes the result is nothing. Perfectionists can feel as though they would rather not start a task unless they can do it to their standards.
As a result, perfectionists tend to suffer from procrastination which further hinders them from achieving their goals. Procrastinating intensifies the fear of failure and can cause the individual to be overwhelmed and prevent them from working productively.
Paralysis
Because perfectionists tend to set unrealistic goals, they frequently fail to achieve them and can cause a paralysis-like state. When a perfectionist makes a mistake, rather than correcting it, they can get overwhelmed and can’t move past it.
A perfectionist may find that they often fail to achieve their goals. This is because their behaviours make it challenging to continue working towards their objectives. As a result, the individual will likely fail to meet their goals, which leads to low self-esteem, anxiety, and/or depression.
Perfectionism in Children
If you are a parent with perfectionism or see signs of it in your child, there are a few things you can do to cultivate a positive environment and prevent it from having severe impacts on their well-being.
- Ensure you and other role models set reasonable expectations for the child.
- Reward your child’s effort rather than the results they produce.
- Show self-compassion and positive self-talk, your child learns from your behaviour.
Ending the Cycle and Becoming a ‘Healthy Striver’
Breaking perfectionist behaviours and becoming a ‘healthy striver’ is possible. Healthy strivers set goals that are realistic and attainable, based on their own aspirations. Perfectionists can start consciously setting goals for themselves that are achievable based on previous results as opposed to what they believe they ‘should’ achieve.
If you want help addressing traits of perfectionism, chat with our iHealthOX Care Team to get started.
Sources:
https://www.verywellmind.com/signs-you-may-be-a-perfectionist-3145233
https://www.lib.sfu.ca/system/files/28965/Perfectionism-U-of-Texas.pdf
https://psychcentral.com/blog/procrastination-is-really-perfectionism#5
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