Talking to teenagers about their mental health and well-being is an important part of helping them understand how to care for themselves. Many mental health concerns take root in the teenage years and can evolve into serious issues if they aren’t dealt with promptly. Discussing mental health with your teen can give them the tools to recognize when they need help and the confidence to ask for it.
Getting The Conversation Going
Why does talking about it matter?
It might seem like a daunting task to bring up mental well-being with your teen, but opening up communication can be a lifeline. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports that in 2018-19, 15.1% of children ages 12-17 had a major depressive episode that year, and 18.8% had seriously considered taking their own life. Mental disorders in teens are common, but with your support, they can be treated and managed.
Where should you start?
Ideally, discussions about mental health would begin early and take place throughout a child’s life. Start with small, age-appropriate, mental health-related topics. A few include talking about coping with big feelings, how the foods we eat nurture our minds, and the importance of sleep for our mood and energy. Incorporating these discussions into your kid’s daily life will help to normalize them and make tackling the bigger topics, such as mental health disorders, an easier task.
In all likelihood, you’ve been talking to your kids about mental health in some form or other all along. But if you haven’t, it’s never too late to start. This guide can help.
What should you cover?
There are a few essential things to cover when talking to your teen, but you don’t have to have the conversation all at once. In fact, it might be better to break it up into more manageable chunks. That way you and your child can process each topic together in your own time.
Here are some things you can talk about:
- Self-Care: Healthy food, plenty of sleep, regular exercise, and social connection are all essential aspects of mental well-being for both adults and children alike. In the teenage years, some of these things can become neglected. For example, the pressures of school and studying can lead to inadequate amounts of sleep, which is a risk factor for depression. Working with your teen on self-care can help to prevent or mitigate mental health issues before they start.
- Relationships: In the teenage years, friendships outside the family often have greater importance and come with heightened emotions. This makes the social scene of adolescence more complicated and difficult to navigate. And, once dating is in the mix, your teen could be in for a bumpy ride. Talking with them about navigating these relationships, and letting them know that you are always available to provide a listening ear, can go a long way to ensuring your teen feels safe and supported.
- Big Feelings: The rapid changes in the brains and bodies of teens during puberty can give rise to major mood swings. Letting your teen know that these changes are completely normal can lift their self-esteem and help them feel less alone. When they understand that the feelings won’t last forever, they can find ways to cope in the meantime, and that they will soon feel like themselves again. You can also teach them coping mechanisms such as breathing techniques and mindfulness practices, which will give them the strategies they need in the moments they feel overwhelming.
- Mental Health Concerns: Giving your teen a basic understanding of mental health conditions will allow them to develop a foundation for their self-evaluation. If they know what depression might look like, then they can let you know when they’re struggling. It’s also possible that when you talk to them about a mental health disorder such as generalized anxiety, they might develop a new vocabulary to describe something that they may already experience, which allows you to seek the right treatment and support.
- Mental Health Treatment: Destigmatizing mental health treatment is a key aspect of this conversation. Media portrayals of psychotherapy can be misleading, and stereotypical depictions of inpatient treatment programs may be understandably terrifying to a teenager experiencing mental health issues. Talking to teens about what psychotherapy looks like, and letting them know that warm, caring support is available will increase the chances that they do ask for help.
How do you approach the conversation?
Teens are notoriously tricky to talk to. Having a serious conversation with their parents is one of the last things they ever want to be doing. There are a few things you can do to ensure the conversation goes smoothly:
- Consider the topic beforehand: Make sure you have a good grasp on what it is you want to say, and spend some time researching the topic so that your teen feels you are a knowledgeable source. If you seem unsure, your teen will have a difficult time trusting your authority. You don’t have to be an expert – just make sure you know the basics.
- Find the rightlocation: It can be helpful to meet your teen somewhere that feels neutral to them, like a cafe or restaurant. Buying them a hot drink and sitting down in a cozy cafe can feel a lot less intimidating than a conversation at the dining room table. Another good option is to talk in the car. Car trips are time-limited, so it won’t feel to your child like they are trapped in a never-ending conversation. Talking in the car also limits eye contact, which can often make difficult topics easier to discuss.
- Prioritize Connection: Above all, your child needs to know that you’re there for them. Showing up with presence and calm will help them engage with the topic. Being open and honest with them about your own mental health history can make them feel more understood and less alone. Let them know that there is nothing they could tell you that would push you away and that your primary concern is seeing them happy, healthy, and safe.
- Have Resources Ready: Talk to your child’s pediatrician or family physician about where to access age-specific educational material on teen mental health. You can also meet with a psychotherapist who can make recommendations on resources (e.g. websites, apps, blogs) for you and your teen. Sometimes, a teen may respond more positively to being offered online reading material to take in on their own. Then, when they’ve had a chance to process the information, you can sit down for a conversation, knowing that you both have the vocabulary you need to understand each other.
What To Do If Your Teen Needs Help?
If your teen is struggling with mental health, it’s important to access timely treatment. Once you’ve discussed their mental health with them, you will have a clearer understanding of the best course of action. Your child’s doctor will also make recommendations about treatment.
iHealthOX can offer you same-day primary care appointments, as well as comprehensive and ongoing mental well-being support through its teen-focused Charlie Wellbeing app so that your child’s unique needs are addressed all in one place. Book a consultation now to get your teen back on the path to feeling their best.
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